inside jamari fox inside jamari fox - taking you real deep
i could be with a vixen tomorrow if i was straight.
i know so many beautiful and single black vixens that would bag me in a heartbeat.
we would date,
get married,
have the kids,
white picket fence,
and the boxer.
in an alternate universe,
that would probably be my life.
alas…
I am attracted to males in a world where that comes with its share of abuse and regret.
a foxholer sent me a video in my ig dms that i wanted to share.
it was from a white gay named nick norcia who said he wouldn’t want his son to be gay…
View this post on Instagram
and this is what the foxholer was saying in response to the video:
so although i can agree with the white gay in that reels video,
and i get where my foxholer is coming from,
i have to add a few points:
1 – White gays still come with privilege,
regardless of their complaints and temper tantrums.
Yes,
they have their own set of issues,
but in the grand scheme of things,
they experience life way different than any black gay will.
It’s still very similar to how the white straights deal with the black straights.
2 – Personally,
I don’t want kids so there’s that.
If my kid happened to be male and gay tho,
I’d like to think I’d teach him of all the pitfalls that come with being in the life.
The issue for many black gays today is we weren’t raised well.
We hid our sexualities from our parents and learned how to be exceptional liars.
Some of us thought we would share our secrets with our parents,
but we ended up getting beat or thrown into the streets to be raised in the wild.
The abuse we faced is a generational curse that should be broken,
starting with YOU.
3 – Remember when we were kids and we wanted to be grown-ups?
Once we got into the real world,
we learned early on just how ugly life and the people in it can be.
I’ll be 110 and say we don’t have a lot of role models around us.
Many black gays are too irresponsible,
sex-hungry,
and come off unrelatable to those who aren’t.
Sadly,
that is all most of us know.
Some of the straights are good allies,
but they don’t know what it’s like to walk in our shoes.
This is when supportive parents come into play.
Since we know all of this,
we should not be giving anything less to our children.
4 – “Men destroy everything.” – a comment under the reels and that’s real.
Honestly,
that’s real talk.
Toxic masculinity,
bottled up emotions,
homophobia on 1000,
and being raised to be unapologetic whores is why some males can’t have nice things.
When you add being black and gay to the mix,
it can lead to a trail of destruction behind us.
The crazy part is some gay males are just like our straight counterparts and we can’t seem to see it.
5 – Lesbians have their issues too.
All sexualities and communities have their shit.
My vixens friends,
whether straight or lesbian,
tell me all the time that it isn’t peachy keen.
males have made me feel like i’m hard to love,
but i had to ask myself…
How can I expect males who are damaged and emotionally unavailable to recognize the amazing that is me?
this is why i’m stopped looking,
but if someone comes along,
i’ll entertain until it looks like a fail.
i would love to hear opinions on this from the foxhole.
i feel like a healthy discussion can come from it.
if i had a son, i wouldn’t want him to be gay (but my daughter can be a lesbian) jamari fox