inside jamari fox inside jamari fox - taking you real deep
“i don’t know what i want to do with my life.”
“let me scroll twitter for a while again…”
“maybe i should jack off again.
i mean,
shit,
i’ve done it like 5 times so far…”
“i wonder what he is doing?
does he even still think about me anymore?”
“i should be over him,
but i can’t seem to get him off my mind.”
“do i want a job or a career?”
“what would i even do in this new world of wfh these days?”
“i’m feeling scared for the future,
but i’m still trying to stay optimistic.”
“are we sure unemployment is extended?”
“let me go watch a tv show or something…”
that was me over-thinking in the span of 10 minutes just now.
i had to get tf up and write this entry.
you know what i’ve realized during this social isolation?…
If you aren’t keeping yourself “busy”,
you mind will take you the depths of overthinking hell.
just now,
i was sitting on my couch and started scrolling through twitter.
after i reached my peak,
i sat there for a second and started to feel this sadness come over me.
it followed so much thoughts that made me feel insecure or scared.
i tried to do a quick meditation,
but i couldn’t stop thinking of all the worst things that could happen in my life.
if you really want to be technical:
We are already in the “worst that could happen” stage of life
its like you have to fill your days and nights with something to do.
even if it’s dancing around your living room,
or making plans to take over the world,
you gotta keep doing something to make sure you don’t slip.
it’s very easy to start getting depressed these days.
some days are good; others days you need Jesus and his the disciples.
i decided to give myself a facial,
take a shower,
and go play video games with my friends.
i might finish this last season of “dead to me” in-between that time.
i have to make sure i’m doing something so my mind can stay active.
if not…
low-key: one of the foxholers sent me this that i wanted to share…
This just made me feel so much better. pic.twitter.com/H3xeNzdzgO
— ephrata
(@ephrata) April 26, 2020
(@ephrata) i will not fall into your trap satan (you will not lure me into the pits of over-thinking hell) jamari fox