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More “Friend”; Less Anxiety

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inside jamari fox
inside jamari fox - taking you real deep

tumblr_ma1thgmgyk1r7wymco1_1280i decided to buy work wolf breakfast this morning.
something inside told me to do it.
it was like an urge in my spirit.
i listened to it.
so i went and picked up a breakfast sandwich and some orange juice.
when i got up to work,
he was standing outside the building.
i don’t know if he was doing it purposely,
but when he saw me,
his face instantly lit up

“i got you something.”

his face lit up even more when i handed him the bag of food.

“aww shit!
thanks j.”

tumblr_mftsvnadXc1rv8jpzo1_250the day went by like any regular day.
he texted me on and off.
he took a while to respond at some periods.
why i even went to “he’s probably texting liar liar” was beyond me.
i did dismiss the thought faster than before.
he also didn’t even mention coming over saturday.
when we were leaving,
he was talking about his 4th of july plans.
i told him he needs to be dressed and lookin’ like “good dick”.

“i’m already good dick.” he responded,
while looking away and smiling.

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tumblr_m0r4t9jA7H1qbvovho1_500 i’ll be saying that term to him from now on.
i even tried to see if i could touch him.
i wiped something off his cheek.
he didn’t hesitate.
that could mean anything tho so i tried not to look into that.
other than that,
he was extremely nonchalant about everything today.
it was confusing.

i didn’t let my anxieties and doubts get the best of me.
it wasn’t easy,
but i let him initiate everything as usual.
even tho i wanted to,
i had to relax and let him do his thing.
i made sure i didn’t respond as fast to his texts.
he wants to chill somewhere tomorrow.
i told him i’m down.

i’m going to stick with this “friend” thing.
yes.
i wrote that out loud.
everyone was right on that.
its not easy because he is the wolf i want.
he needs to be the one to make a move tho.
i’ll play the “kinda” dumb fox until that happens.

More “Friend”; Less Anxiety
Jamari Fox


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