inside jamari fox inside jamari fox - taking you real deep
*some church folks can really annoy me.
now,
i’m not talmbout the ones who are cool.
the ones that go to church but are:
1) still regula degula
2) every other sentence about how God, Jesus, and the latter day saints are
so last night,
i went to bed with a lot on my spirit.
i prayed,
but i couldn’t relax worth a damn.
it was to the point i was tossing and turning.
i remember being half awake,
but still in a dream state…
…and my mother coming to me.
she rode in on a horse,
with a arrow,
trying to fight off whatever was tormenting me.
I don’t know what that was about
either way,
we talked about a lot of things i can’t remember,
but i remember her saying clearly:
“I worry about you”
…and then i woke up at like 5am.
after waking up,
i felt so calm and just relaxed.
it felt like something i was lifted off my spirit.
so my cousin called me earlier today.
i told her how i dreamt about my mom and it felt so real.
she’s a super christian and gon’ say to me:
“that wasn’t your mother you were dreaming about.
i need you to get a job so you can stop dreaming of things coming to you.”
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that had me hot af.
why can’t i hold on to that?
i believe it was my mother who came to visit me.
she usually does when i’m restless within myself.
why take my moment from me?
i was supposed to call her back tonight and i didn’t bother.
these are the rabid christians i CANNOT deal with.
those and the:
GAYS ARE GOING HELL
…but doing more sinning than i ever have.
i often want to ask:
And you aren’t?
like,
why do they use God to be this hateful assassin?
“he’s coming to kill you all!!!”
oh…
oh ok.
whatever.
*honorable mention: the ones who use to sin real heavy,
but now they’ve found God,
they are robots.
my cousin was one of those.
church folks just love taking your joy, don’t they? *sucks teeth* jamari fox