inside jamari fox inside jamari fox - taking you real deep
some of the older generations really ruined some of us.
i’m talking generation x and the baby boomers.
gay or straight.
i don’t know how some of them were raised,
but they definitely took their issues out on us.
it’s obvious how some are try to reclaim their youth.
it becomes a dangerous cycle,
through millennials and generation z,
until someone decides to stop.
unfortunately ex nfl baller jackal,
aaron hernandez,
decided to stop by killing himself.
new reports have taken a deeper look into his childhood.
one that was riddled with abuse and molestation.
this will be a two part entry.
it all seemed to allegedly start when his father passed in 2007,
the same year he took ^that yearbook picture,
but it seems his life was pure hell before that via “the daily mail”…
To outside observers, Hernandez’s father Dennis was the ultimate supportive dad.
When he suddenly died at the age of 49, during his younger son’s junior year, many believed it crushed Hernandez and marked the beginning of his downfall.
But his brother have since revealed that Dennis ran a home where homophobia was rampant and abuse was the ultimate motivational tool.
Jonathan Hernandez, the NFL star’s older brother, said Dennis long had concerns that Hernandez ‘had a feminine way about him’.
He closely watched at how his youngest son ‘stood or used his hands’. And he became enraged when a young Hernandez expressed interest in cheerleading.
‘He wanted to be a cheerleader. My cousins were cheerleaders and amazing,’ Jonathan, 32, recalled.
‘And I remember coming home and my dad put an end to that real quick. And it was not okay. My dad made it clear that he had his definition of a man.’
Dennis also frequently threw around the term ‘f****t’, which Jonathan said he used ‘all the time’.
Standing. Talking. Acting. Looking. It was the furthest thing my father wanted you to even look like in our household,’ he said. ‘This was not acceptable to him.’
And Dennis was a man to be feared in the Hernandez household, ruling his sons with an iron fist.
Sometimes they came as punishment, such as when Dennis left Hernandez with a black eye because he drank before a school dance.
Sometimes they came when Dennis felt his boys weren’t working hard enough in school or at football. Other times they came for no discernible reason at all.
One time it got so bad that Jonathan threatened to call the authorities. But Dennis remained unfazed.
‘I picked up the phone once to call, to seek help,’ he recalled. ‘And his response was. “Call them.”‘
‘And he handed me the phone, and he said “I’m going to beat you even harder, you and your brother, and they’re going to have to pull me off of you when they knock down the door.”‘
about the alleged molestation:
Hernandez would later tell both Jonathan and one of his lawyers, George Leontire, about the sexual abuse he suffered as a child.
Both Jonathan and Leontire – who later said that Hernandez ‘clearly was gay’ – have refused to name his abuser.
A college girlfriend later revealed that Hernandez had also told her about being molested as a child, saying: ‘He never dealt with it. It led to issues in his sexuality’.
this is so sad and interesting to me.
maybe that role of “thug” he created was a wall…
even though they’re trying to create the “martyr” role,
aaron’s story is something many of us have faced growing up.
being a gay or bi male came with a ton of abuse,
especially when you didn’t do what “the other boys” did.
whether we are dl or out,
most of us share a very similar story.
but have different ways of trying to suppress the pain.
those who:
sleep around heavily
addicted to drugs
massive insecurities
insanely homophobic
…those can be signs of some kind of trauma.
most often times picked up from our parents.
it can be levels to it.
i’ll be honest,
reading it brought back painful memories from my own childhood.
aaron and i have similar experiences,
especially the part about getting beat for being remotely “feminine”.
i went through a bad boy phase at one point.
i cringe at the thought now.
after both my parents passed away,
i went downhill trying to gain acceptance from those around me.
others who were just as hurt and putting on their own shows as well.
unlike the other gays who can be extremely nasty,
depending on the story,
i try to be very patient.
you never know the abuse others have gone/going through,
even with the straights.
some of us are acting out in pain and trying to figure shit out.
article cc: the daily mail
