f0xmail: He Isn’t My “Ideal”, but I May Want Give Him My Virginity. Help!

inside jamari fox
inside jamari fox - taking you real deep

FOXMAIL

Hey Jamari,
Been lurking in the foxhole for years – needless to say I enjoy everything I read.
Thank you for your authenticity and for your insight. Just by being you, you’re not only entertaining and informing folk, you’re helping folk.
Getting down to it, I need a third opinion on a situation I’m in.
Ok, so … we all have a thing right? My thing has always been height. I’m 26, 5’11, and am really only attracted to guys taller than me. Don’t know what it is but it’s always been that way. I feel like there’d be a thrill in topping a tall guy and I’ve always made the joke that I’d never let an itty bitty baby climb my back. I am equal opportunity however and have found myself attracted to (and talking to) dark, light, wide, narrow, masculine, feminine but the deal breaker has always been height. I’ve liked random athletes and celebrities and once I discovered they were shorter than me, it’s like a switch flipped. Instant turn-off.
Also, I’m like the last gay virgin. I have always wanted the first time to be with a dude I was in a relationship with. I have missed some good FINE piece but at least they were straight up and let me know they just wanted to fuck with no pretense. I don’t want the first time to be a random I get sprung over.
Fast forward to today. I recently made a friend in a colleague who I assumed was straight. After he left the company for a better position, we got closer and started hanging out. I’m not really flamboyant so after a couple months, he asked me if I was gay. I admitted I was and he admitted he was bi and that he only befriended me because he thought he could smash. Negative. He’s like 5’9. On top of that, I do not find him attractive at all. What’s the problem then? His energy, his aura … is sexy AF!!! Now that we know about each other, he’s always making comments and jokes about having me. I laugh it off but I think about it. He’s so confident it’s sexy. And sometimes I even find myself jacking off to the thought of him. But, I repeat, I don’t like him! It’s like I’m just super horny. He’s asked me if I would ever consider a relationship with him – we’ve had very candid convos – and I admitted I wouldn’t. Before that, I even got pissy drunk one night, got horny, and found my way over to his condo. He felt me up but he didn’t take advantage – said he wanted me to make that decision in my right mind.
Should I give him a chance? Shade is, I really wanna fuck and get fucked but I always I thought it’d be with a tall guy who I was actually attracted-attracted to. He really is good people tho. I just don’t want to feel like I am compromising what I want…or thought I’d have? Could it be he just happens to be present and showing me attention? My BFF thinks I’m being superficial and acting spoiled. My sis says I’m just worried that after holding out for so long, nothing else will come around.

Jamari,
what would you do?
Foxhole,
what would y’all do?

MY ADVICE…

well thanks foxholer.
always glad to have you aboard.

…so can i be honest?

i would love to get banged by a baller wolf like tomorrow.
one with a nice body,
handsome face,
and some pipe to keep me together for a while.

i also have a work wolf who i would love to ride as well.
even though my options are still open,
he is the only “prospect” in my life right now.
we been arguing lately,
but the way he been looking at me…

its always this back and forth with us,
but one things for certain on my end:

i am ready to get on all fours and fives for that pipe.

alas his “straightness” is in the way.

the wolves in the new yawk forests>>>>>>>>
the ones who are on the train in wife beaters>>>>>>
the ones who are on lunch break with their shirts in their pants>>>>>
i don’t know what it is,
but almost everyone i been seeing is fine as hell.
definite use of gym memberships last winter.
i’ve been horny as hell and makes no apologies for it.

what i’m trying to say is this…
sometimes we don’t get to choose the wolves/hybrids/foxes who want us.
we have this image of what we want,
and thats always fine to have,
but we look past who is there holding out for someone who isn’t.
no doubt this life is a lonely one.
some choose two paths:

a) smashin’ everyone like its going out of style
b) take pride in being okay waiting for something real

people will judge you on the latter.
usually its the out of pocket hoes who want you to be like them.
no bueno.

my advice…
your virginity is special.
it is something that once its gone,
its gone forever.
how do you want to tell the story of how you lost your v-card?
this animal in your life,
from what you say,
seems like he is a good deal.
he isn’t your ideal,
but he doesn’t seem like a total wash.
he wants you and seems to have your best interest at heart.
that is hard to come by.
when you do find the tall animal you want to conquer,
you will have the experience to rock his world to the core.

on another note…
you could hold out and wait.
how long you’ll be waiting…

yeah.
as long as i’m going to meet a baller wolf for sure.
it could be tomorrow,
the next day,
or 5 years from now.
well i hope not.
anyway your decision needs to be one made with a logical mind.
a horny one will have you out here looking like a fool.
ask the jackals.
nothing worse than doing something before your time.
i say think about it and weigh your options.
also talk more with this person and be completely honest.
have him tested as well.
if you go through with this,
you need to be completely comfortable and he needs to be okay with that.
also will he stick around once he conquers you?
and are you okay with that if it happens?
there is nothing wrong with being “the last gay virgin”.
there is everything wrong with “giving it up to the wrong one”.
that story seems to be the one most people tell.

i hope this helps!
keep me posted on what you decide.

with love,
jamari fox

f0xmail: He Isn’t My “Ideal”, but I May Want Give Him My Virginity. Help!
Jamari Fox