inside jamari fox
inside jamari fox - taking you real deep
so i guess this may be the end of the “work wolf”saga.
it started with no texts from him.
cool.
give a pineapple some space.
see when i was walking towards the building this morning annnnnnnd…
he saw me and pretty much ignored me.
thats when i realized there is a shift aka the end in our relationship.
it hurt a little.
i felt that sting.
the embarrassment rung like bells in my head.
i asked myself something while at my desk today…
Should i really be sad?
right now,
i can say i do feel sad.
a little angry,
but sadness is the main emotion.
i can be honest and say i feel like i fucked it up.
maybe i was too honest?
maybe i asked the wrong questions?
maybe i “blah blah blah” and “yadda yadda yadda”?
i didn’t do anything more than be myself.
for once i was bold when it came to a crush.
the story could have been just me admiring from afar.
they say a closed mouth don’t get fed.
well i was hungry.
sure i thought there was “something”,
and he didn’t exactly act like there wasn’t,
but in the end this is the conclusion.
as much as i like to think i fucked up,
can i really blame myself?
we had fun.
well i had fun with him.
if this is what ended our “friendship”,
then was he really a friend to begin with?
even though he said we were “friends for life” and all that jazz?
hell he could just be having a bad week.
i have to learn that not everything is about me.
if worse comes to worse,
i won’t get bitter from this.
this was a learning lesson.
even for you.
we all have to experience things through fuck shit.
we need to be in the train wreck.
sometimes we need to cause it.
i could be cocky and say i’m the best thing that was in his life.
i mean he won’t.
i’m being real.
now its time to get back to my life.
i guess the hard part will be still seeing him every day.
not to mention the regret and the “coulda woulda shoulda”.
thats what makes me sad.
lowkey: thanks to everyone who didn’t judge me with this.
i do respect all opinions,
but when your feelings are hurt,
you just want a shoulder.